When I saw the video I was aghast. My friend's son, Joshua, was riding a bicycle. He had no helmet, no pads, no training wheels. He was steady, his face bright and unconcerned, his voice as playful as a boy his age ought to be.
He has been doing that since the beginning, Gabriel tells me. No training wheels. Joshua was 2.5 years old.
I am not declaring Joshua a wunderkind, although he maybe is. Nor am I saying that when my children learned to ride bikes they did so in rubber suits, wearing all the protective gear of a goalie on a hockey rink. What I am saying is that I was impressed by young Joshua, not for the cycling itself, but for the bravery. He has no idea, nor should he, that he is doing something most kids don't. That is what makes it worth talking about.
As adults, all too often we spend countless hours tallying up the risks of every decision. Endlessly racking our limited mental faculties with the what-ifs: What if I fail? What if they (whoever they are) get mad? What if I get hurt? What if they get hurt?! But as I watched Joshua pedal, seemingly unaware that he was doing something I had not seen a person his age ever do, he gave no shits at all. It was as if he was born to just do stuff.
In my own life I have recently been plagued by the what-ifs. Most recently with the start of my community. What if the name isn't good? What if no one signs up? What if it doesn't work? What if, what if, what if. The book was the same: What if I spend all this money and time and no one publishes it? What if no one reads it? What if, what if, what if?!
But the real fear is simpler than all of that. I have built a following, an email list, what I believe to be a community, and I have never asked much of them in return. Now I am saying: I am here, and I want to go further. Will you come along with me?
That, it seems, is the damnable misery of aging. We gain self-awareness, but lose ourselves to it in the process of protecting what we seemingly believe to be a risk.
So before you let the what-ifs fool you, do what I do and ask yourself: What if? What if it works? What if I love it? What if I never try? What if I let "them" stifle my dream? What if I accept that failure is only possible if I quit? What if I just keep trying?
Or, be like Joshua. Stop worrying about what you think you can't do and focus on enjoying the ride.
I am excited to announce my book and my new community! Both aptly named "I Hope You Hate This." I am letting people pre-sign up for the community and become founding members now; it can be found here.
This is the PRE-PRE sale. I still have to put up the video and clean a few things up, but for those of you on my newsletter, I wanted you to have first crack at it.
As it turns out, facing fear is the only thing we can do when it shows up. And for those of you who choose to come along on the next piece of the journey, I can't wait...
See you in there,
nick